This page is copyright me, so please don not steal it it took hours and hours of hard work and fighting with browsers and web design programs. If I find someone stealing it I'll wish that every web design tool on the planet crashes on you and just drives you round the twist. confusious he sayHe who fishes in another man's well often catches crab. Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit. Four super brushes that will clean even the trickiest of seabound mammals. Yes, I am over eighteen, though my IQ isn't. There's one thing you should know. Last time we met I was wearing a cute little black number with peach trim and gold spangles, and although it looks like I'm wearing the same outfit today, it is in fact an entirely different cute little black number, with completely different gold spangles Now kindly cluck off, before I extract your gibblets, and shove a large seasoned onion between the lips you never kiss with. Look, just because it's an armour-plated alien killing machine that salivates unspeakable slobber doesn't mean it's a bad person. What we've got to do is get it round a table and put together a solution package - perhaps over tea and biscuits. But if people see my face, what are they going to think?" Rimmer: "Tell them you had an accident. Tell them you took your car to the crushers and forgot to get out. Stop! Stop! No more. I'm not moving another yard on this thing. I'm getting a parting in the back of my head! You're going to go with one of my plans? Are you nuts? What happens if we all get killed? I'll never hear the last of it Do you think it's because the sub-space conduits have locked with the transponder calibrations and caused a major tachyon surge that has overloaded the time matrix?" "Ah, no, sir. I've just been jabbing it too hard.